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I've developed hirsutism over the summer because of PCOS! Recently, I've learned that my Mother has suffered diabetes in the past. I guess that's why I have PCOS in the first place. I don't have diabetes because I'm 115 lbs. I knew one of my relatives must have had it. PCOS has made me feel completely undesirable! I can't feel good about my looks anymore. Hair is all over my body! I don't feel pretty anymore! It's hard for me to masturbate when I can't get in the mood. I can barely focus on my sexual fantasies when I can't see how anyone would even want me at all! I've lost my confidence! I hate PCOS! I hate my body! My Mother doesn't seem to understand what I'm going through! She days that I shouldn't worry about it, but that's very difficult. Especially when she has passed her crippling anxiety down to me! I'm close to starting school again, and I'm an honor student! So I'm dealing with enough already! I don't love myself! I hate myself! It's difficult to find anything to love about myself! I'm honestly losing sleep because of this! Sometimes I fall asleep before exercising, because I'm exhausted from dealing with life. I have to exercise every day to keep my body from sprouting any hairs the next day! I used to love sweets. Now I can't eat anything sweet because it makes my hirsutism situation worse! My parents think I'm acting weird when I say I don't want sweets. I have had a closed-head injury (my parents don't know about this self-inflicted injury; I've told my Mother that I felt depressed in the past and she told me to "stop being depressed" like its a f*****g choice; my Father wants to get help for me but my Mother has all the power in this family) in the past and it's hard for me to remember to stop eating sweets. I've also forgotten some basic things like grammar and how to spell certain words! I have a terrible sweating problem that makes me smell bad so I hate going outside. School has been Hell on Earth for the past year and a half because of that. So hate my appearance and I feel like a total idiot! It's like I've been cursed or something! It feels like I'm watching myself in a nightmarish movie! I have no real friends. I have no one to confide in. I'm extremely depressed and suicidal most of the time..
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