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Firstly let me just say I'm aware my posts are being how can I put it, unduly monitored more than other peoples, I have no idea why there has been this emphasis, but as I got such a darn unfair biased slating when I last posted about issues with my GP surgery, and some of the replies were downright rude and unnecessary and a form of brutal cross examination leading me to not bother posting on here again till now, when I'd had a chance to gather my stamina, having said my piece, and some of the respondents clearly had the bit between their teeth and a financial motive for the slating I got there was no other way of seeing it, because of this unfairness, I am fully expecting some form of modulation such as "this sounds like a blog" or its "off the point" believe me it is not, as there are so many talented folk in this country who have creative talents rather than wanting to jog or cycle the length of the country or say Africa, and while that is all very worthy it is not an atypical creative persons cup of tea.

Several times in the past I have been "led up the garden path" by mental health organisations telling me they wanted to publish my poetry but on persuit of it, their requests fizzled out and this was arguably not because I wasn't good at what I do, poetry recitals amongst other talents I possess, as I had a record of quite longstanding, about 2 to 3 years with two or three venues locally and got some grounded aclaim, applause and audience appreciation.

However I am back persuing outlets strictly outside the medical circles, I hope!!  as I don't feel they can be trusted entirely from the experiences i have just described.

I am aware as the next person how some Eastern and Middle Eastern cultures/religions would like to put the feminist movement back centuries, and some cultures still despise Jews.  Dangerous ground for discussion you might argue, but surely we can talk openly about how that affects talented people with mental health in the UK?  If not it just festers and things get worse don't they?  Have I tried arguing it with the medical profession?  Ha HA!!  Not easy when you are cognizant that your back is well and truly up against the wall so please don't ask me for details or eyewash me simplistic answers when I do have direct and indirect experience of prejudice in these particular circles.

My poetry has a "mystique", alas, not good enough for some it seems as they would rahter like the "inside story" on me, my past, things I've done,, things they seem to imagine I  have done to keep my head above water.  Nobodies business this as celeb cutlure I personally find abhorant  and  it detracts from my poetrys sublety.  I'll say it once and happy to say it again in support of fellow persons with mental health, I won't have my life put on an alter for public or private scrutiny.  But needless to say, I've never committed any truly dreadful crimes, look it up if you don't believe me, but the teasing about completely non provable irrelevant trivia around my locality recently has been "windrush" and "brexit" at full biting force, ( I at last got a copy of my legal and binding UK registered birth certificate the other day and am clinging on to it, sic?)and we all know this is excuses for mobster level anti intellect, and I am saying it here on the page for people with mental health as look, life is NOT in water tight compartments, and I wont see people with mental health condemned to not have any knowledge about how history and politics affects THIER everyday lives, or how can they ever hope to dig thier way out of an intransigent hole labelling has put them in,  with all the usual inherrant excuses offered up to them?

I was never  particularly in a rapture about  Punk rock music and its affect on the mid to late seventies culture, for reasons I feel I should not be obliged to state, but I'll borrow that context for the moment, as I also lived through it.and remember it well .....Never Mind the B*****ks, don't let prejudice hold you back if you are saddled with the label of mental heatlh primarily because you are creatively talented, get out there and do it, I am with you in spirit.

Please don't read this and say "its a blog" it isn't!!  Its explaining how there is more to life than mental health labelling and sometimes you have to think outside the box, and more than anything I hope this hope ..

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    Hi Fiona you’re right I have a mental illness... and I do come up with some kick ass story medication however stops me from clearly writing them down an getting my point across cos I’m too zombified....but I’ll get there one day....instead of living my whole life hating myself because I’m different I’m gonna try and be creative and make something of these paranoid delusions I get....some will laugh some will criticise but I don’t live to suit them...I live to be the best I can be....I get labelled all the time....lost my job do to illness...lost family....friends...self esteem....get called pathetic by people who don’t know me...Get treated like a s**t mother cos THEY think I can’t look after my child...may be schizzo but I’ve never been a defeatist like my granda used to say....when I got my diagnosis my whole life changed I was in war with myself...and my mother saved my life by saying my illness was just creativity put to waste...yes I know I’m mentally ill but she gave me my confidence back...a new outlook on life to be able to fight this monster of an illness off....sorry if I made it all about me I’m a egocentric b...h my point being is that if psychiatry tried a different approach rather than just saying your crazy take your meds...but a more beneficial kind of therapy that helps find your strengths and how to work on them instead of cbt pointing out what’s wrong with you maybe some people would find light at the end of the tunnel...xx 

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